Love is…Protection (Part 2)

Part 2: Protection For Your Future

A very wise and well respected woman who was a missionary has written various books on Love and Faith and given young women just like you treasures of wealth in some of her thoughts about LOVE and how we should view LOVE before marriage. May I introduce to you Elisabeth Elliot.  If you don’t know her, google her and you will thank me, I promise J.

“God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” Elisabeth Elliot

Body language: Body language is how we use our body to communicate what we are thinking about.  Body language can also be used to communicate how we feel.  Body language can be used to communicate limits we are willing to go beyond in an effort to please someone. You all know a different word for this – FLIRTING.  Flirting can be done in a way that brings playful fun to a date, OR it can communicate to a guy we are willing to do things with our body we shouldn’t be doing except in marriage.

“We cannot give our hearts to God and keep our bodies to ourselves.” Elisabeth Elliot

In Song of Solomon we are given this bit of advice in dating relationships that relates to boundaries in body language and physical boundaries.  Song of Songs 2:7 reads, “Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.”  In some translations the word arouse is replaced with STIR UP.  Simply put, we are repeatedly advised through the Song of Solomon to not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.  Putting yourself in exclusive dating relationships where you are spending time alone with a guy is fueling the fire to arouse or awaken that love too soon.  In an effort to communicate your value through body language, it would be wise to set boundaries on the time you spend alone with a guy.  Create situations where you are in public places.  Go on group dates.  Keep the time you spend with a guy outside of either of your bedrooms.  Bedrooms bring about temptation that can prove to cause even the strongest person to stumble in a moment of heated passion.  Bedroom time is private time-so keep your time with each other public where other people can see you and keep you accountable to your boundaries.

Honoring your future marriage in your dating relationships is lived out by what we post on social media, and what we text.  Social Media –  You all know what I’m talking about.  Instagram-Twitter-Snapchat-Facebook and many more.  Social media has become a place where teens express how they feel, how they value themselves and portray who they are spending time with.   Be reserved when sharing pictures of the guy you’re dating.  Don’t fall into the trap of defining who you are by over posting pictures of you and the guy you are dating.  Reserve the photos of how you and he spend time together for pictures that are taken at events where you are with groups of people doing group activities.  Guard your heart against letting the like button define false approval.  The Lord approves you just the way you are, even if you don’t get more than 10 likes on a post. The Lord approves you even if you don’t post at all.  Let social media be a place you shed light on the places the Lord has gifted you as a beautiful young lady to glorify Him instead of bringing more attention to yourself.

Texting – If you are planning to date a guy who hasn’t actually called you on the phone or communicated with you in person, please do me a favor, and reconsider that decision.  Texting is an easy way to communicate, but its not the only way a guy can get to know you. Often times guys use texting as a way to do something we call GROOMING.  This is not the kind of grooming you and I do to get ready for a girls’ night out.  GROOMING in this context is defined as – using manipulative or persuasive language to get someone to do something in exchange for a favor.  If a guy can’t talk to you in person or call you on the phone he’s not investing enough in who you are as a person to warrant you giving him any more of your time.  Ladies, did you know that 71% of guys ages 15-22 say that a girl who has sexted is not girlfriend material.  I’m going to camp out here for a minute because this is so important to me.  If a guy asks you to send an inappropriate text of yourself, tell an adult you trust.  Do NOT fall into the trap of thinking that if you do send that text of yourself it will make him like you more.  You have the right to discontinue communicating with someone who asks this of you.  There is so much I can say about this, but for now I’m going to keep it short and remind you that LOVE in the biblical definition ALWAYS PROTECTS.  ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-7)  Someone who is asking you to sext is not protecting you, they are living out the world’s definition of love which says that sex = love.

Whew! That was some deep stuff.  But so good.  So necessary.  What does setting boundaries in our dating relationships have to do with LOVE?

In order to preserve our love for the one God intended us to share it with we have to think forward to decisions we will make that will serve as protection for that future husband we all dream about.  What I hope you to take away from this post on boundaries is that you are LOVED by the father in the absence of a boyfriend just as you are loved by the father if you do have a boyfriend.  BUT remember you are called to honor your future LOVE of a lifetime by protecting that love in your dating relationships.  Above all else make sure you remember Love is patient (patient enough to respect your value of loving yourself and your future husband to set and keep boundaries) love is kind (kindness is seen in actions that show love), love always protects (if a guy asks you to do things against your boundaries, he’s not protecting you), love trusts (a guy who keeps your secrets is worth keeping around), love does not boast (guys who focus on learning more about you than sharing all about themselves is worth dating), love is not self-seeking (when a guy asks you to sext he is self-seeking), love rejoices with truth ( a guy who is happy to respect your boundaries is worth dating)…just to name a few.

And once again because I think this quote from Elisabeth Elliot is so encouraging, it’ worth repeating:

“God never denies us our hearts desire except to give us something better.” Elisabeth Elliot

If you have not found that LOVE.  That’s ok.  God has something better for you.

I hope that this image that speaks Gods ultimate love for you is a reminder of who your #1 valentine is…always and forever He is your valentine!


#journaljourney: Which married adults in your life do you admire? What have you learned from observing in them that you want in your future marriage? Do they have Christ at the center of their relationship? How have you seen this be an advantage in those married adults around you?



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